Side Story: Adieu

e fixed on his face, as if lost in thought, but also filled with some tenderness.

He knew that Father was looking at him but seeing the beloved eldest son who died young. Raphael understood that the more he disappointed his father, the further he seemed from resembling that bright older brother, causing his father even more pain.

Sure enough, when the Count''s eyes shifted down to the culottes and stockings that Raphael hadn''t cleaned up yet, that distant look immediately disappeared.

"Well, looks like you''ve really grown up, Monsieur de Saint-Clemont!" Father sneered. "I wonder what kind of affair, young master, got you undressed in the open field?"

Raphael looked up at his father blankly. He couldn''t understand. Was it such a huge sin to play in the stream with Edith?

Seeing Raphael''s reaction, the Count seemed to further confirm that he was beyond redemption. He propped on the desk with one hand and pressed his forehead with the other, not knowing if he was talking to Raphael or himself.

"If Andre were still alive, do you think I would care about you even a little bit?" Father''s voice shook, sounding deeply pained.

Raphael felt a wave of relief from the depths of his heart. Yes, Father had finally uttered those words. In truth, Raphael felt the same way. He should have died in Andre''s place.

The priest who taught him catechism always told him that God sees everything on Earth and bestows upon each person their rightful fate.

Why was it not him that God took away? Brother was the God''s favoured one, while he was worthless. Even if he were gone, would anyone in this world truly care?

"How could you think that way? If you die, I''ll cry. Charlene will too." When he accidentally revealed this thought to Edith, she pouted, angry and sad.

Raphael suddenly felt so happy. He really wanted to see Edith shed tears for his death. He couldn''t sleep the whole night, lying in bed and keeping thinking about this.

He thought, how blissful it would be to see others cry for himself. But if he were to die, how could he witness it?

Raphael didn''t expect that in the end, the one who wept would be himself.

It was around the summer of 1781 when one day Edith suddenly stopped coming to play with him and his sister. Every day, he would push Charlene and stand at the garden gate, craning their necks and looking out, but she didn''t show up for several days.

When Edith appeared in front of the two of them again, her eyes were swollen like two peach ke