Chapter 56: Unyielding

I am someone who lives in the darkness. However, I long for sunlight and hope.

我是一个生活在黑暗中的人，可是我渴望阳光和希望。

I am in the mud, but I try my best to get out of it without being stained, to wash clean without being tempted.

我身处在淤泥之中，但是我想尽办法拼尽一切的让自己出淤泥而不染，濯清涟而不妖。

Maybe I am insane, but a person has to have a belief, a pursuit, a goal, and a direction in life.

也许我不正常，但是一个人活下去就必须有一个信念，有所追求，有一个目标，有一个方向。

That was my goal, my direction, and my dream.

这就是我的目标，这就是我的方向，这就是我的梦想。

Although my pursuit is as difficult as reaching the sky for me, although such pursuit is easy for ordinary young ladies born into a little better family, it is out of reach for someone like me.

虽然我的追求于我来说难于登天，虽然这样的追求对于一般出生稍微好一点的姑娘们来说是唾手可及的，但是于我这样的人来说却是可望而不可及的。

I could only blame myself for not being able to reincarnate well. Why did I have to be born into such a family?

怪只怪我不会投胎，为什么偏偏要生在那样的家庭？

We were penniless and starving. It was a blessing for us to grow up without any disabled.

家徒四壁，忍饥挨饿，能四肢发达没有残疾的长大都是万幸。

I shouldn''t have entered this industry. I was young and ignorant at that time. I just wanted to study calligraphy and didn''t want to be illiterate. However, I made one mistake after another.

怪只怪我不该入了这个行业，当初年少无知，只想着能读书习字就好，不做一个文盲就好，可是一步错，步步错。

Back then, I could have entered another industry. I could be a maid of someone. That would be a hundred times better than what I am now!

当年我不一定非要入这个行业，我可以去做婢女，去做丫头，也比现在好百倍呀！

I could only blame myself for being tempted by money. The salary here was high, and I deserved it for being short-sighted.

怨只怨当初被金钱诱惑，这里的工钱给得高，我目光短浅活该如此。

As a child, my biggest wish was to have enough food and warm clothes. Later, I wanted to learn how to read and write, and then I wanted to earn more money and become rich. Now, I want to be a pure and innocent girl, a normal and virtuous wife and have an ordinary life. I want to marry a man who loves me and is worth my love, have my children, and live a happy life with my family.

小时候我最大的愿望是能吃饱饭，能穿暖衣，后来我想要读书习字，后来我想要赚更多的钱，成为一个富人，现在我只想做一个清清白白的姑娘，成为一个普普通通的良家女子，有着一个寻寻常常的人生，嫁一个爱我也值得我爱的男人，生下属于自己的孩子，一家人开开心心快快乐乐。

However, I was not fated to do that in this life!

可是这些和我似乎今生无缘！

"I''m greedy. I''m too greedy. My goal has always been changing, and I want to get more and more, more and more out of reach."

是我贪，是我太贪了，我的目标一直在变化，而且想要得到的越来越多，越来越遥不可及。

As long as I was content, I could live happily ever after.

但凡我知足些，也许我就能过得很快乐。